Of Monkeys and Magic
by Lyre Liar
Summary: Poor Specter. Locked in a cage with nothing to do. Looks like somebody feels sorry for him...A bit drabbleish with the possibilty of a plot. The summary sucks.
1. Hello

**Hello, and welcome to the fic.**

**Just to get it out of the way, I don't own Ape Escape. I'm not really sure why I even need a disclaimer, seeing as this sight is called Fan Fiction. But hey, who am I to argue with the rules.**

**I do, however, own Keku. Steal her and die .**

**Now on to the fic!**

**---**

"Look at the pretty little monkey!" a little girl with pigtails squealed.

Children. I hate them. Snot-nosed little brats. Always ooing or ahing over the "Amazing Specter." Four years since the first time. Four years since I had first obtained the helmet. And I had finally retained the knowledge. Not like anyone would care. They'd still treat me like crap.

"It's a stupid monkey; it's not pretty at all!" A boy pushed the little girl down. She immediately burst into tears and ran screaming for her mother. How many times had I seen this happen? Too many. Same scenario, different people.

"Let's throw popcorn at him!" It truly amazes me how low human intelligence can be. I prepared myself for the oncoming hail of popcorn and fake butter.

"Hey, you stupid kids! Get away from that cage!" At last; someone recognized their total lack of intelligence. Now if only they weren't human. Anything but human.

The tubby kid and his goonies ran off, crying and screaming about how "some lady had called them a mean name." I massaged my temples. Day after day with nothing to do but be the main freaking attraction. The monotony was agonizing. I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes.

"Hello."

Oh joy. Yet another gawking human. At least they weren't screaming something about my "amazing white color".

"Specter, right? Of course, it says so right here on your cage." I opened one eye. Female. Long brown hair. Brown eyes. Typical traits, undistinguishable from the rest of the masses.

"Red eyes? Nice. I know a guy with red eyes. Well, actually, I know two guys with red eyes, but neither of them is an albino." Was she going to babble like this all day? "You're named Specter because you're white, right? Hey that rhymed. Anyway, it could be worse. You could be named Casper or Ghost, or something else disturbingly unimaginative." Apparently, yes. "I think I'm pretty good at naming people. I mean, I should hope so; I am an author. By the way, my name's Keku. I like that name." Keku. I wonder if that means annoying in some strange language. "Most albino monkey's eyes are blue, or at least, as far as I know…." Back on the subject of eyes. "It's normally lesser mammals whose eyes turn red. That explains why human's eyes turn red." She giggled. Wait, did she just insult her own species? I smiled slightly. "Though monkeys are considered lower than humans. Feh. That's just some lazy bum's excuse for not doing his research. It depends on the creature's intelligence level, not their supposed status." I was starting to like this girl. "It gets boring in there, doesn't it? Yes, it does. What was I thinking? You don't even have anything to do. Boring. Here."

I opened both eyes. She was handing me a stack of paper and a pencil. I took it tentatively. This was new. At least it was something to do, well, until park staff took it away. "Careful with the pencil please; it's my favorite. Green lead, and all that stuff."

I immediately began sketching an escape plan. Much better than my previous endeavors, though having paper helped.

"I also like to draw, but I haven't had any of that published yet. I don't really think it's good enough. Ah well, at least my books do well enough. You look human." That caught me off-guard. I glared at her, then continued my work.

"Don't like being called human, eh? I don't either. Though I am one, I think. Actually, I'm not really sure what I am. All I've got that sets me apart is a ring." A ring? How would that change her species?

"An escape plan, huh?" I jumped and desperately tried to hide the sheet of paper. "Don't worry." She waved her hand. "I'm not going to try to stop you. I don't really think you should be in here. You're too smart for it. The other monkeys seem happy; you don't. I'll come back for you tonight." With that, she walked away. Definitely one of the weirdest experiences I had ever had.

**---**

**snicker Oh Specter, if only you knew what she has in mind.**

**If you haven't noticed, Keku is kinda' nuts. It comes with semi omnipotence; it's a packaged deal.**

**Anyway, please review, and I hope you like the fic.**


	2. Escape

**I got a review already! Huzzah!**

**Anyway, previous disclaimer still stands, except now I must add I don't own eBay.**

**Now on to the fic!**

---

Something woke me from my sleep. A noise maybe, or a dream? No, it was definitely the rock thrown at my head. I rubbed the point of contact. That was going to bruise.

"Hey, Specter!" Though it was said in a whisper, it was loud enough to wake the whole park.

"Keep it down!" Oh no, I had said that out loud!

"You can talk? Why didn't you say so earlier? Oh, right, people. That would have been awkward." I'd recognize that babbling anywhere; it was Keku.

"And you're not freaked out by this?"

"Heck no," she replied, stepping out from behind a tree. "I saw you drawing escape plans; why would this surprise me?" Good point.

"Why were you behind a tree?"

"I was hiding from the guards." She wore a paranoid expression.

"What guards?" I looked from left to right. The street was deserted.

"Oh, they're there. I know it; I can sense them." Her eye twitched.

"Are you really this thick, or are you purposefully acting like an imbecile?"

"A little of both." She grinned. I sighed. I could feel my IQ dropping.

"Well, are you going to get me out of here, or not?"

"Yes, but first we'll need this." She held up a badly made plush. I think it was supposed to look like me.

"And what exactly is that?" It had a disturbingly blank expression.

"A decoy. This way, the guards won't know you're gone." More non-existent guards.

"You think anyone would really be stupid enough to believe that-" I looked at the plush. I think it was staring at me. "-thing is me?"

"You'd be surprised." Keku smirked. "And if anyone comes near it, it will steal their soul!"

"What!"

"I kid, I kid." She waved her hand. Some how, I wouldn't have been surprised had she been serious.

"We've got a decoy. That's all well and good, but how do you plan on getting me out?"

"Like this." She placed a hand on the cage bars. Nothing happened. I wasn't surprised. "Well, what are you waiting for? Walk out."

"What?"

She sighed. "Look." She threw the decoy into the cage, as if the bars weren't even there.

"How did you-?"

"Remember that ring I told you about? It can do more than just look pretty." It was then I noticed the piece of jewelry around her ring finger. Silver with a purple stone.

"How does it work? I expect it speeds up the cage's atomic structure to the point-"

"Enough sciencey talk!" Her vocabulary was astonishing. "It's not anything like that; it's magic."

"Magic? There's no such thing."

She shrugged. "If it worked the way you had described, the cage wouldn't reform to the point of its original atomic structure, thus creating a possibly dangerous, unstable metal alloy." She said that as if she almost had a brain. Suprising.

"Okay, you're right, but there's still no way that could be magic." What a stupid concept. Magic? That was for small children.

"Suit yourself. Now are you coming out, or not?"

"Right…" I placed a hand on the bars. It slid smoothly through. I lowered myself out of the cage. I was free. I could finally leave this place behind. For good.

I made my way towards the exit, not caring what Keku did. Not caring if she got blamed for my escape. Got arrested. After all; she was only human.

"And where, exactly, are you going?"

"Anywhere but here." I didn't even look back

"So you think you can just waltz out without anyone noticing? The park's prized monkey; gone. How long do think it will take to find a white monkey in a city like this?" Her voice had become uncharacteristically cold.

"I don't care. I'll think of something."

"I'm sure you will. I only have one question; what are you going to do? Are you going to sleep in some alleyway until you 'miraculously' find what you need to put your plans into action? Presuming you ever find those materials. You have no allies, and no place to stay."

I stopped. "What are you getting at?"

"Stay with me for a while, at least until you know what you're doing." Her voice softened.

"And why should I accept help from a human? It doesn't matter if you got me out of that cage; I'm free now, and I don't need your assistance."

She narrowed her eyes. "I told you, I'm not human. And you're not free yet; I got in the same way you got out. Those gates are still locked. I could also put you right back in your cage with this." A monkey net had appeared in her hands.

"Where'd you get that!" Did she know the Professor?

"EBay." Oh. I guess that wasn't too surprising. "So, what's your choice?"

"I don't have a choice."

"I'll take that as a yes then." She grinned, the monkey net in her hands gone. How quickly she had gone from naïve to cold and back. She was wearing a mask, I could tell. I only wondered which side of her was real.

"By the way, we'll have to walk to my apartment."

"How far is it?"

"About half an hour from here." That wasn't too bad. "If you're driving."

"What? Why didn't you take a car, then?"

"I'm only fifteen. I'm not even eligible for a driver's license."

"We could always hot wire a-"

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"If-"

"No."

"A-"

"No."

"I wasn't even going to say-"

"No."

"Will you stop that!"

"No."

This was going to be a very long walk.

---

**Just more insanity. And yes, Keku has a full set of the original Ape Escape gadgets from eBay. She likes the sky flyer best. She uses it to get onto peoples' rooftops and hang upside down in their windows while they're eating dinner. She's got some of their reactions on video…**

**I told you she was nuts. Pity Specter.**

**Anyway, more to come! Keku's landlord: office worker or hired assassin? You decide.**


End file.
